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January 31, 2005
a bad case of the mundays
Where to start, I haven’t the slightest clue. I swear as the weeks have gone by, I fee like I’ve become a worse and worse swimmer. I hate to dwell on this, but it seems to be a perpetual problem for me. Tonight felt like rock-bottom, but I know that it could/can be worse. Jeez, just need to figure out what in the hell my problem is….so much of it’s mental.
It has been the cause of so much frustration lately. It’s one of the few challenges I’ve come across in my life that I can’t seem to get it licked. Heck, I don’t even know where to start. That’s not true, I know it involves getting back in the pool, probably on my own, away from the stress. I’ve been making so many excuses lately, like signing up to play indoor soccer once a week. I try to play it off like it’ll be a good way to cross-train and break up the monotony, but I really know that it means that there one less night a week that I don’t have to think about swimming.
Back to the frustration thing, I know that no one really wants to read this crap, but I think that this will help me get my thoughts in order…I hope. I know that physically I am more than fit enough to do this swim with out much of a problem. Sure I might lack some upper body strength, but I have a good cardiovascular base to build off of. It just that the technique is killing me, and the only hang up that I can really think of is that it has to be mental. I’ve always prided myself on being able to pick up on things quickly, whether it’s in a classroom or some new activity. Never has it taken this long to “get it”, and that’s only adding to the frustration.
Bottom line, I need to put my past failures aside and start anew. It sounds easy in theory, but actually doing it another story. A few bad laps and the doubts come flooding back. Our bike/run coach offered to help out in a one-on-one or small group atmosphere, which is really cool of her. Totally beyond the call of duty. A very large part of me wants to work this out on my own, but that’s not the quickest or best solution. There goes my pride, getting in the way again. Anyone know a good sports psychologist?
Well, I thought writing about this would help, and it has, but only a little. I haven’t been able to quite get it down in words what’s bugging me. Maybe I just need to sleep on it. To add insult to injury, it’s past 11:30 and I still have to work on some homework….bless my heart.
I would have like to have told you all about the excellent time I had this weekend snowshoeing [and more importantly, hanging out with some uber cool folks] up in northern Michigan, but I’ll have to save that for a cheerier time. The immediate challenge is to not dwell on my troubles in the pool and instead keep riding the emotional high from this weekend. Maybe I should take time to remember those words from one of the most thought-provoking bands this world has ever seen, Chumbawumba.
“I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never going to keep me down”
Lets hope I don’t “piss the night away”. Cheers.
Posted by ksmith at January 31, 2005 11:44 PM
Comments
Despite the lateness of the hour last night, I couldn't help but occupy myself with more of these thoughts as I lie in bed. One thing that I did manage to get some sort of a handle on was a possible cause for my mental block.
I think that when I get in the pool and set out swim, I know that I can't do it. Or at least I'm really convinced that I can't do it. When I quit last night (I hate that word) I was physically tired, but not to the point of exhaustion. I was just beat mentally.
When it comes to running, biking, or anything that's not swiming, I can push past much tougher physical barriers because I know that I can do it. I'm not afraid of effort or pain. I just know that if I push on I can get it done.
This past weekend was a perfect example. Even though I've never been snowshoeing before and I was half way through a six-mile race and I was physically beat, I knew that if I just buckled down and focused on the task at hand I could finish, and finish strong.
I just don't get that feeling when I'm swimming. How do I get it?
Posted by: kyle at February 1, 2005 07:25 AM