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February 13, 2005
escape from stony creek
Whew, I just managed an escape that Houdini would have been proud of. My name is Kyle Smith, and I am a victim of a kidnapping attempt, and here is my story.
Notice: The names here have been changed to mock the guilty.
This weekend started out innocently enough. After yesterdays training session, I was invited to join some people this morning for what I was led to believe to be an easy six miles at Stony Creek. Little did I know that I was to be the next target of a metro-area kidnapping ring.
I was picked up early this morning at my house by an acquaintance, a Miss Holiday, who happened to be the organizer of the ‘run’. Once we made it to the park, we met up with several other ‘runners’ in a parking lot. I did happen to recognize one other person in the group, Rory Cider, who used to be a kernel in the military. I could tell right away that I was in over my head. But instead of backing my way out of the situation, and against my better judgment, I decided to press on.
Less than a mile in to the ‘run’, the others forced me to run at a frenzied pace, scampering over boulders all while trying not to loose what little footing I had on the ice. I tried calling for help, but those calls fell on deaf ears. There was no one around for miles. When we did stop after six miles, my request for water was denied. Instead, I was given some strange concoction of who-knows-what. Reluctantly, I slurped it down. I knew with absolute certainty, that this was not the end.
I was forced to sit outside for what felt like several long hours while the kidnappers planed out their next move. Just as hypothermia was about to set in, I was ordered to my feet and told that we would be running an additional two more miles. I pleaded for mercy, but was assured that I didn’t want to experience the alternative.
We were supposed to turn around and head back a mile in to the death march, but we kept on going. My inquiry in to turning around was met with devilish stares and wicked laughter. I wouldn’t get off that easily.
After nine miles of running through some of the most forsaken terrain in this country, I finally thought that it was over. I had survived! But my hopes were quickly dashed when I was wrestled back in to the car against my will. I was to be taken to their secret hide-out for questioning.
The next several hours are still quite fuzzy. All I can remember is being thrown scraps of food while my captors dinned in bliss. The ex-kernel wore a tremendously frightening headdress that would strike fear in to kids and bring grown men to their knees. However, the moment when I truly felt like I was a gonner is when they turned their two attack dogs on me. I have never seen such vicious creatures in my life. It was a fate that I wouldn’t even wish upon my greatest enemies.
Honestly, I’m not sure if I was able to escape, or if they let me go. Perhaps my pleadings finally turned their hearts, or maybe they were able to extract all of the information out of me that they needed. All I know is that I’m thankful to be alive, and at this point, all I am capable of doing is lying in my bed quivering. I certainly hope sleep finds me soon, and that no one has to go through the hell that I experienced today.
Seriously guys, I had a blast. Thanks for bringing me along.
Posted by ksmith at February 13, 2005 10:49 PM